My personal lavatory was born to consume my feces. He has become my permanent human toilet, and consuming my excrement is undoubtedly his greatest talent. Filling his wide-open mouth with my feces is the ultimate prize he deserves. As I squat over his eagerly waiting mouth, he must keep up with swallowing, he must eat it all. He doesn’t miss a single bit; any leftovers are returned to his mouth because nothing should go to waste. Practice makes perfect.