For years, a certain gym patron named Gary has been offering me advice on my workout routine and diet. Amused by his persistence, I decided to play along during lockdown by pretending to follow his advice. Gary had a habit of requesting videos of me doing squats from a low angle, and often encouraged me to wear as little as possible for “training purposes.” It was clear to me that he was ogling me, so I decided to take his curiosity about my stool consistency to the next level. I included a close-up video of me having a bowel movement at the end of this video, just for him. Enjoy, Gary!