My paypig is set to arrive today! He has a fixation with sneakers, and will diligently clean them with his tongue. He will willingly empty his wallet for the privilege, and I demand every cent he has to offer, the pitiful loser! Before he is allowed to lick them, I will kick him in the face with the sneakers on. He must perform well, as the sole is quite dirty. I will count each lick as money, and if he fails to meet my expectations, he will be kicked again!