Stretched out in the toilet bowl, your gaze follows my nightly routine. I meticulously clean my teeth, discard the soiled undergarments I’ve worn throughout the day, and, of course, prepare to relieve myself for the evening. Open wide, my dear shiteater, for your late-night meal is ready to emerge. Yes, chew, swallow, as you become more accustomed to your new lifestyle and diet. Now, you will have a sample of my excrement in your mouth and a shit burp throughout the night. Enjoy, have a pleasant night, my loyal toilet bowl.