Stretched out in the toilet bowl, you gaze up at me as I prepare for bed. I clean my teeth, discard the soiled underwear I’ve had on all day, and, of course, I must empty my bowels for the night. Open wide, my shiteater, for your late-night meal is about to make an entrance. Indeed, masticate, swallow – you’re growing accustomed to your new lifestyle and cuisine. Now you’ll spend the night with the taste of my feces in your mouth and a shit-scented belch. Enjoy, good night, my dear toilet bowl.