In this candid, unprofessional video, witness me having a bowel movement during a crowded house party at a friend’s place. Before filming, I was on the toilet, but I decided to capture the moment for posterity. My friend, who was already aware of my work, found it amusing. I positioned the camera to focus on my buttcrack and began by urinating forcefully. I then sat down to defecate, but my colon was too congested for me to pass anything. I decided to squat on the toilet, which allowed me to release a thick, fat log. The camera zooms in on my asscrack, with the background blurred. I then show the impressive result and attempt to wipe myself, but end up with feces on my sleeve. I try to clean up, but the bathroom becomes saturated with the smell of my excrement. I flush the toilet, hoping to alleviate the odor, and put away my phone to clean the feces off my sleeve.