I am visiting a male friend’s house. I am constipated, but finally feel the urge to defecate. In my usual mischievous way, I refuse to use the toilet and look for more exciting locations to relieve myself. My eyes land on the freshly cleaned kitchen counter. I wonder if I can reach high enough to lay a log there. Ignoring the friend’s protests, I strain and push, moaning loudly as I try my best to lay my creation on the counter. The camera focuses on my anus as I struggle, trying to push it out while standing on my tiptoes. I am determined to soil the kitchen counter! I grab a stool to stand on and start straining again, pushing and moaning. This time, I am successful, and a thick, dry, clumped-up log slowly emerges. I am proud of my accomplishment and take deep whiffs, commenting on the strong smell. I show off my unwiped behind and then leave, as the room is getting smelly. The camera then zooms in for a close-up of my stinky creation. Where will I choose to defecate next?