Two diarrhea-free days I endured, consuming copious fruits in anticipation. My “shit-eater” was en route, and I could hardly contain my excitement. The moment he crossed the threshold, his clothes were shed in a flash, and a mound of steaming, pungent diarrhea filled his mouth. Shock registered on his face, squeaking and struggling to swallow, yet failing as diarrhea flooded his mouth. Today’s breakfast, he would savor my fresh excrement, my very own diarrhea.