A hybrid of swine and privy is tasked with consuming all of my champagne today. His repulsiveness prompts me to maintain a safe distance, thus I employ this black funnel with an extended hose. He awaits on the ground, hose in mouth, as I, with bursting bladder, lose no time in discarding my undergarments and commencing to fill this singular chalice. He swallows with ease, and I persist in filling it, my bladder emptying more and more. I yearn to observe it brimming, and so I do. He endeavors to retain it, but a leak in the tube ensues, spilling onto his arm and body. I permit him to conclude his imbibing on the ground, bathed in my effluvia, in utter debasement.