It’s time for our much-deserved weekend getaway. I’ve been planning a wellness trip with Carmen Fire, one that will be financed by our faithful paypig – as it always should be! He enters the room, presenting us with a rose in each hand. Nice, but where’s the money? I meticulously count the bills, my anger rising with each passing second. Such pathetic behavior – he brings us small 50 euro notes, barely enough to cover a luxurious wellness weekend for two! His pitiful attempt at pseudo-romantic gestures means nothing to us – we require funds! He leaves, only to return later with a larger sum. Much better, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s more money in his bank account.