In the midst of engaging with my phone, I amuse myself by glancing at you, pathetic creature. My life is filled with activity, unlike yours. Thus, I command you to kneel and worship my sweaty foot, granting you a purpose. It is only through licking my foot, adorned with my post-workout reeky Converse, that you will have the honor of experiencing the smell of my sole. Once you have thoroughly cleaned my sole with your tongue, you shall be rewarded with a face full of my spittle.