I am blissfully asleep until a stirring in my stomach awakens me. I break out in a light sweat as the rumbling grows stronger, causing me to shift and toss off the blanket. How much worse could it get? The rumbling soon turns into cramps, and my body’s response is inevitable. Half-asleep, my rear end slowly expels a massive turd onto my spotless white sheets. The smell or the sensation of the hot, steaming log still protruding from my anus rouses me from my slumber. The embarrassment is overwhelming. How could I, a respectable person, have such an accident in my sleep? The stench is strong enough to wake everyone in the house, so I must act fast to clean up the mess.
Don’t you wish you had been lying behind me?