My friend Gabriella and I are spending a holiday weekend in the mountains, where we’ve brought our personal doormat for moments of relaxation. Upon returning to our hut after a day outdoors, we find him there, lounging on our bed. This is unacceptable, and we immediately reprimand him. He defends himself by saying he had nothing to do, but now we will quickly give him something to do. We don’t even bother removing him from the bed before climbing on top of him, using our feet to step and hit his face and abdomen. We support ourselves by holding onto the ceiling beams and pushing with our arms, sinking deeper into his soft flesh. His body deforms under our weight, especially when we step on his face and neck until it nearly disappears into the mattress. I believe he has learned his lesson and will think twice before relaxing again.