Ah, the call of nature beckons me. I prefer to hasten to my beloved village toilet. Here it is, my treasure. Behold the plush, downy seat, akin to a furred throne. Such bliss for the buttocks, such comfort and luxury in sitting. And you, toilet scoundrel, shall situate yourself beneath me. Open your mouth, receive my excrement and urine. You shall reside in this wooden latrine, ingesting all feces from me and my guests. Indeed, you have become a living toilet, a connoisseur of excrement.